Category Archives: Journey to INDIA

The final night here in the UK before i fly out and i’ve just finished watching ‘Slumdog Millionaire’. An Oscar Winning film from my favourite Director Danny Boyle. The film centres around the plight of three poor orphans as they struggle to survive in the harsh reality of modern day India.

The film is billed as ‘the feel good film of the year’ and yet i found it terribly depressing. Orphans are picked up off the streets with a promise of a better life only to be groomed to become beggers. Some are purposely blinded by their masters because blind beggars tend to make more money. Most of that money of course going to people higher up the chain.

I have been forewarned several times about the child beggers in Delhi. They will not leave you alone untill you have given them some money. The dilema here is that you give money to one child and then within seconds, like a moth to flame you will be surrounded by hourdes of children, each thrusting their outstretched hands in my general direction.

The thing to do, according to seasoned travellers to India, is not pay them any money at all, but instead take them to a nearby shop and buy them food. That way their masters will not see any money and the children will be blessed with  full bellies. Result!!

Although my brothers attempt to deter a particularly troublesome Begger by threatening to chop off his head and shove it up his arse, was only partially successful, with the beggar explaing that for a fee he could direct him to a very cheap knife shop!!

Its gone past midnight now, and i really need to be in the land of nod. We have an early start tomorrow. The plan is to travel to Southall in the morning and then make our way to Heathrow airport.

I have utilised their meet and greet service, which means that i can leave the car in one of their designated car parks and then ten days later go back to the car park and drive off. Assuming the battery isn’t flat!!

Untill the next time, over and out.

Camcorder check, camera check, laptop check, webcam check,

Two days to go before the flight and I am packing the last few items. My suitcase seems surprisingly empty. True I haven’t packed any thick woollen jumpers or warm overcoats, but surely my medium sized suitcase should be a bit more fuller. I have a varied complement of ultra cool ‘touristy’ summer clothes, my jogging attire, swimming kit and various toiletries.

I am now having feelings of guilt for not buying a smaller case. The next size down was £30 cheaper. Perhaps I Should have bought that one instead!?

Then all of a sudden I was asked to pack in some recently purchased female clothes to be used as gifts for various individuals in India.

Damn, I thought, should have bought a bigger case! My once half empty anorexic suitcase was now bulging at the seams. If it was human it would most definitely be referred to as a ‘fat bastard’.

But then I saw my wife’s suitcase. Mine was size medium but hers was large. Very large. And it was bursting at the seams. How she has managed to pack so much in to this suitcase is truly one of the great mysteries of the universe!

If her suitcase was human then no adjective within the annals of the Post Norman dictionary could possibly explain it. So I have shown a pictorial comparison below.

My Suitcase

My Wifes Suitcase

It then dawned on me that being the man, i would no doubt be carrying this mother of all suitcases. This suddenly filled me with dread. Not because of the weight issue.  I am a fit and healthy individual so this would be no problem.

The problem lies in the very affeminate nature of the flower designs which cover the entire  suitcase. Carrying this around people would no doubt assume that the case belongs to me and by implication question my sexual orientation!!

This wouldnt really be a problem elsewhere, but India is famous for its Eunuchs, or ‘gay boys’ as they more commonly called, and the last thing i want is unwarranted attention from one of these individuals. They very rarely take no for an answer.

Wait a minute! I havent even arrived in India yet and already i’m talking about being molested by a over sexed Eunuch. Clearly the nerves are getting to me. But the real question is why is this trip making me so nervous?

I have backpacked alone in the rugged Northern Californian wilderness, come virtually face to face with bears and Cougers, spent a night in a haunted house, and in all these endevours, nerves were definitely absent.

Yet, a simple two week holiday, and i’m actually nervous. I need to watch some happy, nice  films about India.

But again this means that i would need to do something that i swore never to do. Watch a Bollywood film!!!

On second thoughts, being molested by a grotesque, smelly Eunuch is preferable to watching a Bollywood film!!!

Untill the next time, over and out.

It had to happen. After many years of putting it off, i have finally bitten the bullet and succumed to pressure. There is no turning back now. Monies have been paid, documents have been readied and injections have been had.

What you may think have i gotten my self in to?

Well, i am finally visiting the birthplace of my Parents and my cultural homeland. The far away, alien place known as INDIA!!

Let me explain. I have always been fascinated by science and technology and indeed have always been drawn to it. Be it the first Home computer, the first DVD player or the first High difinition TV, they were quickly added to my ‘must own asap’ list.

Star Trek, Star Wars and the like were staple viewing fodder during my youth and the future was always the place i would most like to visit.

India however, represented the antithesis of that. A mainly agricultural developing counry where even electricity wasnt availablle in a lot of areas. India was also a highly religious country, with 82% being Hindu. Other religions include Sikhism, Islam, christianity, Jainism, Budhism, Judaism and Zoroastrianism. I, on the other hand wasnt even a believer. Science was my true religion. This was indeed a classic case of being a chalk in a land of cheese.

India therefore had nothing in common with me and vice versa. I had no intention of ever visiting this ‘alien’ foreign land.

So what changed, i hear you say, why have you changed your mind?

Well, as i am getting older i appear to be having this ‘longing’ to understand a bit more about my heritage, and also my parents life in India. Seeing where my father went to school and grew up is something i’m particularly looking forward to. I will be travelling with my entire family so we will no doubt have a bit of fun along the way. My brothers and sister last went a couple of years ago and have been an immeasurable source of advice.

The first two days will be in Delihi where we will undoubtedly see a few of the landmarks, with the Taj Mahal being the highlight. Then we will endure an eight hour train journey to the northern Indian state of Punjab. The words ‘train Journey’ and ‘India’ immediately conjurs up images of hourdes of travellers pertched precariously on the tops of the train carriages holding on for dear life. Certainly hope i wont be one of them!!

The internal situation is probably no better with wooden seats and a hole in the floor acting as a solitary toilet. But this is my ignorant pre-concieved ideas. The fact may be nothing like the above and thankfully we have booked ‘business’ class. What exactly that means in india i have no idea.

I fly out in five days time and the clocks ticking… There is no turning back now.

Stay tuned for Daily updates.