An Englishman in a strange land (3)

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The final night here in the UK before i fly out and i’ve just finished watching ‘Slumdog Millionaire’. An Oscar Winning film from my favourite Director Danny Boyle. The film centres around the plight of three poor orphans as they struggle to survive in the harsh reality of modern day India.

The film is billed as ‘the feel good film of the year’ and yet i found it terribly depressing. Orphans are picked up off the streets with a promise of a better life only to be groomed to become beggers. Some are purposely blinded by their masters because blind beggars tend to make more money. Most of that money of course going to people higher up the chain.

I have been forewarned several times about the child beggers in Delhi. They will not leave you alone untill you have given them some money. The dilema here is that you give money to one child and then within seconds, like a moth to flame you will be surrounded by hourdes of children, each thrusting their outstretched hands in my general direction.

The thing to do, according to seasoned travellers to India, is not pay them any money at all, but instead take them to a nearby shop and buy them food. That way their masters will not see any money and the children will be blessed with  full bellies. Result!!

Although my brothers attempt to deter a particularly troublesome Begger by threatening to chop off his head and shove it up his arse, was only partially successful, with the beggar explaing that for a fee he could direct him to a very cheap knife shop!!

Its gone past midnight now, and i really need to be in the land of nod. We have an early start tomorrow. The plan is to travel to Southall in the morning and then make our way to Heathrow airport.

I have utilised their meet and greet service, which means that i can leave the car in one of their designated car parks and then ten days later go back to the car park and drive off. Assuming the battery isn’t flat!!

Untill the next time, over and out.

Has the BBC gone too far?

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There is a weekly BBC Current Affairs program that is shown every Thursday here in the UK. It is called Question Time and basically consists of four panellists who take it in turns to answer questions asked by members of a live studio audience. The questions are topical and mostly political in nature.

Tonight’s edition has caused an immense amount of controversy with howls of protest coming from all quarters of the British establishment. The cause of this anger stems from the decision by the BBC to invite the leader of the Far Right party, the BNP (British National Party) to be one of the panellists.

The man in question is Nick Griffin, a Cambridge educated fascist. He became leader of the BNP in 1999 and this year he shocked the political world by actually winning his contested seat to become a European Member of Parliament for North West England. The BNP won another seat and garnered just under a million votes in total.

It was under this pretext that the BBC saw fit to invite Griffin on to their program. The BNP they argue is no longer an extremist fringe group but a political party with elected representatives.

Earlier today when the show was being recorded, there were large anti fascist demonstrations outside the BBC studios with demonstrators trying to break in.

So what is my opinion?  Should Nick Griffin have been banned from appearing?

I am reminded of the words of Voltaire, a famous French Philosopher “I may not agree with what you say but i will defend to the death your right to say it”. Indeed Free speech is the corner stone of any democracy and the minute we start banning people for simply exposing their beliefs and views, no matter how objectionable, then that is when democracy truly dies.

And the real fascists will have won.

An Englishman in a strange land (2)

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Camcorder check, camera check, laptop check, webcam check,

Two days to go before the flight and I am packing the last few items. My suitcase seems surprisingly empty. True I haven’t packed any thick woollen jumpers or warm overcoats, but surely my medium sized suitcase should be a bit more fuller. I have a varied complement of ultra cool ‘touristy’ summer clothes, my jogging attire, swimming kit and various toiletries.

I am now having feelings of guilt for not buying a smaller case. The next size down was £30 cheaper. Perhaps I Should have bought that one instead!?

Then all of a sudden I was asked to pack in some recently purchased female clothes to be used as gifts for various individuals in India.

Damn, I thought, should have bought a bigger case! My once half empty anorexic suitcase was now bulging at the seams. If it was human it would most definitely be referred to as a ‘fat bastard’.

But then I saw my wife’s suitcase. Mine was size medium but hers was large. Very large. And it was bursting at the seams. How she has managed to pack so much in to this suitcase is truly one of the great mysteries of the universe!

If her suitcase was human then no adjective within the annals of the Post Norman dictionary could possibly explain it. So I have shown a pictorial comparison below.

 

My Suitcase

My Suitcase

My Wifes Suitcase

My Wifes Suitcase

It then dawned on me that being the man, i would no doubt be carrying this mother of all suitcases. This suddenly filled me with dread. Not because of the weight issue.  I am a fit and healthy individual so this would be no problem.
The problem lies in the very affeminate nature of the flower designs which cover the entire  suitcase. Carrying this around people would no doubt assume that the case belongs to me and by implication question my sexual orientation!!
This wouldnt really be a problem elsewhere, but India is famous for its Eunuchs, or ‘gay boys’ as they more commonly called, and the last thing i want is unwarranted attention from one of these individuals. They very rarely take no for an answer.
Wait a minute! I havent even arrived in India yet and already i’m talking about being molested by a over sexed Eunuch. Clearly the nerves are getting to me. But the real question is why is this trip making me so nervous?
I have backpacked alone in the rugged Northern Californian wilderness, come virtually face to face with bears and Cougers, spent a night in a haunted house, and in all these endevours, nerves were definitely absent.
Yet, a simple two week holiday, and i’m actually nervous. I need to watch some happy, nice  films about India.
But again this means that i would need to do something that i swore never to do. Watch a Bollywood film!!!
On second thoughts, being molested by a grotesque, smelly Eunuch is preferable to watching a Bollywood film!!!
Untill the next time, over and out.

An Englishman in a strange land (1)

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It had to happen. After many years of putting it off, i have finally bitten the bullet and succumed to pressure. There is no turning back now. Monies have been paid, documents have been readied and injections have been had.

What you may think have i gotten my self in to?

Well, i am finally visiting the birthplace of my Parents and my cultural homeland. The far away, alien place known as INDIA!!

Let me explain. I have always been fascinated by science and technology and indeed have always been drawn to it. Be it the first Home computer, the first DVD player or the first High difinition TV, they were quickly added to my ‘must own asap’ list.

Star Trek, Star Wars and the like were staple viewing fodder during my youth and the future was always the place i would most like to visit.

India however, represented the antithesis of that. A mainly agricultural developing counry where even electricity wasnt availablle in a lot of areas. India was also a highly religious country, with 82% being Hindu. Other religions include Sikhism, Islam, christianity, Jainism, Budhism, Judaism and Zoroastrianism. I, on the other hand wasnt even a believer. Science was my true religion. This was indeed a classic case of being a chalk in a land of cheese.

India therefore had nothing in common with me and vice versa. I had no intention of ever visiting this ‘alien’ foreign land.

So what changed, i hear you say, why have you changed your mind?

Well, as i am getting older i appear to be having this ‘longing’ to understand a bit more about my heritage, and also my parents life in India. Seeing where my father went to school and grew up is something i’m particularly looking forward to. I will be travelling with my entire family so we will no doubt have a bit of fun along the way. My brothers and sister last went a couple of years ago and have been an immeasurable source of advice.

The first two days will be in Delihi where we will undoubtedly see a few of the landmarks, with the Taj Mahal being the highlight. Then we will endure an eight hour train journey to the northern Indian state of Punjab. The words ‘train Journey’ and ‘India’ immediately conjurs up images of hourdes of travellers pertched precariously on the tops of the train carriages holding on for dear life. Certainly hope i wont be one of them!!

The internal situation is probably no better with wooden seats and a hole in the floor acting as a solitary toilet. But this is my ignorant pre-concieved ideas. The fact may be nothing like the above and thankfully we have booked ‘business’ class. What exactly that means in india i have no idea.

I fly out in five days time and the clocks ticking… There is no turning back now.

Stay tuned for Daily updates.

My friend, the rock star.

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Every community has their own little eccentric character, someone who behaves and lives outside the general norms of society. Sometimes they are beset with mental problems and other times they are cursed by some kind of addiction that appears to have taken over their lives (normally an over reliance on alcohol).

 But they will always stop and talk to you. Invariably the conversation will always lead to stories about how they were the first to land on the moon or they had travelled to all four corners of the world before they were 18 years of age. Tall stories that clearly bear no semblance to reality, yet each tale being more impressive than the one previous.

This then brings me to my own eccentric character. This individual I had known for about 5 years. He lived about six houses away from me and I would see him walk past clutching cans of lager as if his life depended on it.

His appearance wasn’t the norm either. For someone who was the near side of fifty he possessed an extra long head of died black hair which ran down over his forehead and from the back was resting on his shoulders. His attire would be more at home on a teenage Goth. Alcohol had certainly taken its toll on him and his speech was somewhat slurred, but he had a very polite and gentle demeanour.

Recently he began telling me that he is in fact a member of a rock band and his band are currently touring in the States, but due to ill health, he was unable to go. This rock band he says, were massive in the 1970s and 80s, and they still have enough fans to ensure that their touring diary is full. He even played guitar with Ozzie Osborne and worked closely with the founder of Iron Maiden.

I would listen to his story and think to myself that this ‘alternate’ reality is probably all that this poor soul has. His own life probably consists of nothing more than consuming copious amounts of alcohol and trying to survive each day as it comes.

Then one day he gave me the name of his band. UFO. I had never heard of such a group and in my mind I regarded it as a fictitious name, part of his ‘alternate’ reality. His name was Peter Way and again I had never heard of a famous Pete Way.

“Check on Google” he would say, in a manner that would suggest he was still enjoying his drink too much.  “Type in Pete Way and I’ll pop up”.  Again I didn’t take him that seriously.

Then one night I was surfing away and I’m not sure why but my friend popped in to my head. I quickly loaded up Google and within the search bar I type in Peter Way and UFO.

The next 30 minutes was an emotional cocktail of disbelief and embarrassment. Everything he had said to me was absolutely true. UFO was one of the biggest bands on the rock scene and Peter Way was one its original members. Checking out his fan site he did indeed play guitar for Ozzie Osborne.

Watching him perform on stage on YouTube was a revelation. He still looks the same, although too much drink and drugs has reduced his speech to a milder version of that of Ozzie Osborne.

UFO are touring in the states at the moment and on their official website there is a mention for Peter Way who is unable to attend due to ill health. Peter tells me that he is no longer doing drugs.

I felt a tinge of embarrassment for immediately dismissing his tales. I don’t treat him any different now, but whenever he starts talking about his days as a rock star and the adventures he had had, my ears certainly prick up and I listen intently, lapping up every word he says.

Pete way having some fun!

Pete Way having some fun!

Take a look at Peters official website here

and the UFO website here

Jungle ape man spotted by Brits

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BRIT explorers claim they have spotted a legendary ape man believed to inhabit an island jungle — and snapped its footprints.

footprint1

The four-strong team and their Indonesian guide were tracking through dense jungle in Sumatra when two of them caught a glimpse of the famous Orang Pendek — or short man.

The group brought back a hair sample and a piece of chewed palm from the island’s Kerinci National Park they hope will provide DNA evidence of the beast.

They also snapped a strange footprint thought to belong to the creature.

Sightings of the hairy human-like monster have been made in the area since colonial times — and it is alleged to be immensely powerful.

The explorers hope the sample of rattan palm, which is thought to have been munched on by the Orang Pendek, will contain some of its cells. The palm and hair sample have been sent for testing.

 Elusive

 Witnesses have described the beast as being about 5ft tall and say that it walks on two legs.

It is thought to be extremely powerful — with reports of onlookers seeing it ripping apart logs.

After a spate of sightings around Lake Gunung Tuju, in the Kerinci national park, a team from the Devon based Centre for Fortean Zoology — which investigates unknown species of animals — embarked on a two-week mission to the region to see if they could obtain evidence of the creature.

The elusive Orang Pendek shares its habitat with the Sumatran Tiger, pythons, and Saltwater crocodiles.

Richard Freeman, the expedition zoologist and zoological director at the Centre for Fortean Zoology, said he believes the creature is an unidentified species of ape.

“We are not talking about a unicorn or a griffin, we are talking about an ape that’s unknown to science,” he said.

“It’s name means ‘short man’ in Indonesian.

“It’s supposed to be a powerfully built upright walking ape.

“It walks on two legs rather than four – like a man, about five foot tall with dark fur – immensely strong.

“It’s been seen since colonial times.

“It’s quite possible that in some museum there are skull and bones of the Orang Pendek that have been labelled orangutan.”

The team, who have just returned from their two-week expedition, hailed it a success and are awaiting the results of the DNA tests.

www.thesun.co.uk article by By LEON WATSON

Mystery beast terrified kids

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beast

TERRIFIED locals in a South American town are running scared after a strange creature they describe as “Gollum” crawled out of a lake and charged schoolkids.

The beast — which has “sparked fear and confusion” in the small town of Cerro Azul, Panama — was spotted on Saturday when four 14 to 16-year-olds were playing by the waterfront.

According to their account, reported by Panamanian news service Telemetro, the youngsters “screamed” when the five-foot creature emerged from a cave and started clambouring over rocks towards them “as if to attack them”.

In a “desperate bid to defend themselves” the four terrified boys said they hurled rocks at the strange creature to kill it, before throwing its corpse in the water and running away.

Their disbelieving parents returned to the lake the following day — and were stunned to discovered the beast’s body washed up on the shore.

Experts have yet to examine the images — or make any statements regarding their discovery. 

But locals told Panama news channels, who ran the story, that the water-monster was “Gollum from Lord of the Rings”.

One said: “I have only seen that creature once before – and it was in the Tolkien film.”

The fictional Gollum — originally known as Smeagol — was a hobbit whose later name was derived from the “disgusting gurgling, choking cough he made”.

JRR Tolkien — who wrote the Middle Earth adventures — said of the character: “He had become deformed and twisted in both body and mind by the corruption of the Ring.

“His only desire was to possess the Ring which had enslaved him, and he pursued it for many years after he lost it.”

Taken from www.thesun.co.uk

Read the original story here

District 9

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Every now and again a movie comes along that reminds me exactly why i fell in love with the medium of film in the first place. District 9 is that film for me at the moment.

Produced by Peter ‘Lord of the Rings’ Jackson and directed by Neil Blomkamp, based  upon his short film, this is indeed a powerhouse of Intelligent filmaking allied with some of the most impressive visual effects i have seen in a long time.

Aliens have reached earth and their huge ship is hovering above the city of Johannesburg. Following months of inactivity the humans force their way in to the ship only to find thousands of starving aliens barely clinging to life.

They are transferred to the surface and kept in a compound known as District 9. This soon turns in to a slum and has the same social problems as any other slum anywhere  in the world. Some aliens start venturing out and commiting crimes against the human population. The authorities fearing a backlash decide to relocate them.

The film centres around Government worker Wikus Van De Merwe. He is tasked with managing the resettlement of the aliens and a search of one of their  homes yields an alien object which fires some liquid in to his face. The resulting problems caused by this  represents the cornerstone of the film.

What is the liquid? why was it there? are the aliens up to something? if so, what??

Neil Blomkamps decision to base the film in South Africa has paid off. The film has that gritty realistic feel, that has more in common with a social documentary than a science fiction film. But this only adds to the realism.

 There are times when you feel you are watching a socio political documentary about living conditions in the slums of south africa. The 30 million dollar budget is miniscule particularly against the back drop of highly impressive visual effects and action set pieces.

Watch and be impressed.

Bigfoot photographed?

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Has a bigfoot been caught on camera? 

This story in from wave3 tv written By Elizabeth Donatelli

FAIRDALE, KY (WAVE) – Conspiracy theorist have tried to prove the possibility of aliens, sea monsters, and even shape shifters, now there is a mystery Jefferson County. Kenny Mahoney, born and raised in Fairdale, snapped a picture of what some people are calling Big Foot.

His hunting camera, which is operated by a motion detector, normally picks up rabbits, deer and turkeys, but on September 1 around 2:15 p.m. it picked up a strange image that looks like some sort of large black creature, one Mahoney estimates taller than he.

“It looked like it had the outline of a head, and like gorilla type shoulders, and then the arms crossed is what it looks like to me,” said Mahoney.

Mahoney said it would be very hard for him to believe Big Foot is living in his backyard, but is stumped as to what else it could be.

“One of the explanations my brother-in-law said it may be a garbage bag blowed up in there, but all the smashed over vegetation in there-I really don’t know,” said Mahoney. “I have no idea what it is.”

Mahoney’s wife Margaret sent the photo to a wildlife expert who specializes in black bears. She said it looks like it is fur and not a trash bag, but still cannot confirm it is a bear.

I’m more enclined to think its a bird. Take a look at the 2 pictures blow. The first one  is the filmed ‘animal’.

Bigfoot?

The picture below is of a crow taking off, albeit  from a different angle. There clearly are simularities. Notice the wings.

Crow taking off